What a Week!

It was the first week of a two-week orientation for the Bastyr dietetic internship. We met every day except one with our director in a small classroom on the south side of the building (Bastyr University is essentially one large U-shaped building), far removed from the usual student traffic and looking out onto a walled-in grassy area. Clouds and rain threatened for most of the week, but occasionally the sun would come out to warm and invigorate us.

Without giving away the whole curriculum, we had a number of activities and discussions structured to help us get to know each other and to build our “team.” And of course we discussed the requirements of the internship, went over our rotations, and got a feel for what our year would be like. There were also a couple of field trips, including a "retreat" day at our director’s home with a vegetarian potluck (including some gluten-free and dairy-free options), and a trip to a dialysis center to learn what it’s like to be a renal dietitian. Four of the interns have a special renal rotation, but the rest of us do not so it gave us a nice glimpse into the practice of renal dietetics and dialysis.

In addition to the usual rotations, we have a number of intern projects to complete. We’ll each lead one project, with the other eight interns as resources, and we spent a fair amount of time on the last day planning for the first two projects: a series of cooking/nutrition classes for Bastyr employees, and a research project culminating in the production of a publishable paper, potentially resulting in a published paper with all of our names on it!

As for the nine interns, we are a widely varied group in age, experience, and interests. Personalities run the gamut from irrepressibly exuberant to low-key (that’s me) with many shades of “color” in between. I think everyone liked everyone else, and that we’re going to be a good team for the next 9 months.

Monday starts with a lesson in doing a cooking demonstration. Normally this is taught by the amazing Cynthia Lair, but since three of the interns, including myself, took her course in this very subject in the last quarter of our program, Cynthia turned the class over to us. So three of us will demonstrate how to do a cooking demonstration to the others, then they will have a chance to do a short cooking demo and be evaluated by their peers.

At the end of this first week, I am simultaneously excited and frightened out of my wits about the coming experience. During this week we all expressed some level of trepidation, either about doing or saying something wrong during a rotation, not being able to remember information when it’s called for, and/or public speaking. I’m also fearful of letting down my director or my fellow interns in some way, which would also be letting myself down, but after hearing everyone express these fears I felt somehow better.

Part of being human is to be fearful – fear keeps us vigilant and charged up to meet a challenge. I remember driving to school in the first quarter of my first year of the nutrition program, on my way to doing my first presentation in class. My fear of public speaking is fairly intense, and was even more so then. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and my legs were weak. There was absolutely not a happy thought in my heart at that moment and I felt an almost uncontrollable urge to turn the car around and go home.

In that condition, my only recourse is usually to talk myself down from the ledge by finding a new and less scary perspective of the situation. That day, I got past my fear by reminding myself of the purpose of fear. The “fight or flight” response is a programmed reaction to imminent danger. Public speaking is (arguably) not dangerous. That simple logical progression was enough to calm me down and allow me to get to school and do my presentation.

Frankly, I expect to have to “talk myself down” pretty regularly throughout the next year. After two years of practice, it’s a well-developed skill that will help me meet all the challenges of the internship. Now I know that I also have the support of eight others who will be facing the same challenges and who may call on me for support when they feel like they’re out on a ledge.